Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
