I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
