I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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