oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
