Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
