I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
