so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize