I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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