He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
