Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't deserve a penis
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize