I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
