Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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