we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
