Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
