ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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