Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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