No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
