you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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