My liver just broke up with me...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
