HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
this beer tastes like vomit already
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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