There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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