I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
