he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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