Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
