His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
