then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
