What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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