I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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