Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Nicole vs. Life
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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