the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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