Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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