Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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