Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
