Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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