i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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