Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
