you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize