just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
