Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
