no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
