He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Let's paint friendship bongs
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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