Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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