He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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