Screwed.edu
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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