wake up i wanna do it froggy style
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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