Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
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I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
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You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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