please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
