he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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