took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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