So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
worst night to have a conscience
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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