ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
