we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
