What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I party with great urgency now.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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