After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
