im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
